Pets and Responsibilities 

You have a lot to think about when getting a dog, my mum got two dogs she couldn’t afford to pay for their vaccinations. She could feed them but their jags were costly for two. Like ¬£130 costly. 

 This is Jessie and Jodie, when I moved back in with my mum I had helped pay for their jags, I think they are adorable. They are both Staffordshire bull terrier cross collie and they are both sisters and born the same day. I was the one who witnessed the birth of these adorable dogs, but the shameful thing about it is my mum and big brother picked their favourite. Can you guess which one? Due to that the other was left out on any affection, it would always be shoo Jessie, move or get lost. Now Jessie is just adorable, she loves cuddles and always comes for them. I’m afraid I sometimes do it too mainly because she can be too much. But she is only saying hi and all that so I usually have her back cuddling up again. Jodie in the other hand can be sweet when she wants to be, she’s not aggressive no. It’s just she hardly pays attention, I am working on it but it’s a lot more worse outside then inside. I guess you have to really be a good dog trainer or knowledgable on how to train them. These days you look online and you find dog trainers showing you how to do it, but mainly on a dog who is already trained. So you give up cause you have no idea what to do and don’t have the money to go to classes. One minute your thinking a responsible owner would give them up to good homes, but I feel in love with both of them and trying my hardest to train them. It’s just money wise I can’t get any treats or anything. It’s mostly me now that deals with the dogs, my mums only interested in Jodie when she bothers to come home.   

This is Jodie, looks more like a collie than staffy and loves to play. A troublemaker at the most but she warms on you.  

And this is Jessie, they don’t look related much do they? Same height and different personality. As well as having the same age and birthday. My mum could have had only one but taken two, she says to me all the time she didn’t want them, though she did and she made a choice. But now it’s what is the right choice, I’m trying to reverse the problems they have, but I don’t get much help. Now Iv got a dilemma give them up or keep them and keep trying. I love them both, but I’m not experienced in dog training……


Giving Blood

Given that I am a B+ and they have a lot of that one stocked up, I thought why not give blood and it shouldn’t matter that my blood type is in full stock. There are some other blood types like O- and O+ that are low and it depends on if you can give blood that’s the thing. Sometimes they would have to send you away if you have a cold sore, a cold, etc or just plainly not well. So sometimes when you get told you can’t can be a downer on some people who generally want to help others and there is other ways to help people. 

Well when I went in today to donate for the third time, the nurses were really nice. Though some were not interested in any type of talking much to the people who come in to give blood. One was nice to say “come in next time and show me that tattoo you want,” as I was talking about a tattoo I would like to get one day. But if I get a tattoo I would have to wait a year before I can give blood again. After she tested my blood and said I was good to go, she then told me to give the form she wrote on and hand it to the nurses that were at the bottom of the gym in which the session was held. After I done that it didn’t take long before I was on one of the beds being asked questions, they had asked about the wound on my lip and ruled out cold sores, they asked me if it was tingly which it wasn’t and then got another nurse who was wearing a darker blue uniform to rule cold sores out. You see you can’t give blood if you have cold sores, so they had to rule it out and don’t feel bad if you have a cold sore and got rejected for it, it’s just they have to think about the blood that will be given to patients who need it. Once I was in the clear, the nurse put a blood pressure type cuff around my arm and put air in to allow my vein to pop out slightly, they also disinfected the area for a bit with a brush/sponge like object that makes the arm feel a little weird. Once that’s done they insert the needle in to the vein, now they don’t insert the full needle, only a small amount but not too small for it to come loose easily, they then use sticky tape to ensure it doesn’t move. Now this is where my job came in, see it’s not all fine and dandy just to lay there will your blood gets drained out of you in to a little sealed bag, not much blood would come out for that matter anyway and make you be there for hours to get the right amount to fill most the bag they use. You have to wriggle your fingers or move your fingers to the point the blood flows into the needle and in down the tube to the bag. Now where I live and where I go for giving blood, you hear a beeping noise which sounds very familiar to mario when he collects a coin. 

When the (strangely familiar Mario tune) beep comes, it means I am done and they quickly put a plaster around the needle and the entry point and then remove the needle, it’s better to do it this way to ensure blood doesn’t escape. Now, the nurse then got this fabric that’s almost like a bandage but a lot more thicker and small, she asked me to hold it on to the plaster and keep it there, after I was ready to get off the bed she used tape to create more of a reinforcement for the plaster, since the plasters do tend to come loose after a while and a bit more padding too. Another nice nurse asked me what I would like, a cup of coffee, tea, juice, I asked for an orange juice and had a nice caramel biscuit. Now not all of us are there for the free juice and biscuit, it’s more the helping others when they really need it. I’m not just a blood donor but also an organ donor. When I leave, I feel some what satisfied and proud of myself, just like anyone should for doing something selfless. 

Giving blood is not for everyone, there is other ways you can help people. If that is what you are interested in. 

My Single Little Life

As I mentioned on another post Life is not simple and can be or is more complex. No one has had the perfect life from birth till death. I may appear jealous, well quite frankly I am a little jealous and please don’t hate me for it and I might come out a little hateful, but I think I deserve to have at least a little anger in the experiences I had when it could have been avoided. 

At the start my life would have seemed idyllic, a brother who was nice to me and a mum who had two well-behaved kids, which of course changed over time due to growing up and starting to test the boundaries. Popping in to nana and papas after school and watching some cartoons while having a yoghurt before going home and getting dinner, to then having a little while hanging out with friends before bed time. Then there was Easter hunts and the older brother finding most of the creme eggs because he would get them before you did and mum helping you out a little so you didn’t get left out. To then give us the big eggs and some other presents. Then there was Christmas where we would wake up, wait for mum going for her bath before we were allowed to go down stairs, excitement building as well as anticipation and some frustration of having to wait. When we did we were to wait till mum sat down and allow us open one by one our presents to see our faces light up. To then getting ready to go to nana and papas and the family come together for Christmas dinner, Turkey, beetroot, vegetables, mashed potatoes and all sorts of food. To then having a little chat and clearing away the plates and table before we open up more presents. The worst present I could have gotten from a family member and I did was a Star Wars purse, I wasn’t a Star Wars fan and please don’t get me wrong I did appreciate it, I just didn’t really use it.

That of course all changed, my mum got a boyfriend and he was one of those it’s either my way or the highway type of guys, including him liking to get drunk. I was probably in primary 5-6 when she started dating him and he moved in, at first he seemed nice but after he moved in, it was far from it. Rules starting changing, my big brother hated him and when my mums boyfriend grounded my big brother, he went up stairs and escaped through the window. For weeks he wouldn’t stay at mums cause he hated her new boyfriend. I too hated him, but I never shown it. 

When my big brother did eventually come back, we had these style of couch and chairs were you could remove the top of it off from the base, I couldn’t sit properly on it one day that I tried fixing it while my plate of spaghetti bolognase was on the floor, once I was happy with it I picked my plate up and sat down, but it still wasn’t right I fell to my left as the chair moved and the spaghetti went on the floor, mums boyfriend ordered me and my big brother to eat in the kitchen for now on, no table or chair, just stand at the worktops/counter and eat our dinner, while mum and him are in the living room seated watching TV. My brother blamed me of course and always had, mums boyfriend also ordered us to wash dishes and dry them afterwards too. Mum changed then too, she started drinking just to ensure her boyfriend wouldn’t drink the full bottle, but we knew he would get another bottle if he could. There was even an occasion he took over completely of discipline, I was really late home after my so called (now not) best friend got me to come along with her to this golf course and I did say no and kept saying no, it’s just she never took no for an answer. When I did eventually go home, my mum flipped and her boyfriend grounded me till I moved, there wasn’t even a goodbye to those who I did hang out with after school, who didn’t even attend my school. 

I hated them for it, months of being grounded was harsh, it was in my opinion over then line. Sitting in a room day in day out with nothing but your thoughts. Too afraid to speak up just incase they punished me even more. Moving day came and went, new place, new school and no friends to hang around with. A whole week watching kids play and to shy to talk to people. Eventually a group took pity of me and had me join them, though I thought I made new friends and I stuck with them until the end of fourth year in secondary school. Home life sucked too, mums boyfriend was drunk every weekend and the police was over atleast once or twice a year and my mum would have me tell a little lie or keep some truths from them so they would go away, once they did jail both and the boyfriend was prisoned for some weeks while my mum got let of due to it being marked as self defence and the newspaper recording what a solicitor or whoever said it to them apparently me and my mum was waiting for him to come back and all that rubbish, I didn’t want him back, I wanted to have a place where I didn’t hear screaming and shouting every week and a mother who now blames me for their pathetic arguments. My big brother moved out when the landlord died and his daughter told us we had to move. We then moved to one location to another, eventually it was time for school life to finish and my college life to begin, now that was the worst first year in college. My mum moved out and left me with her now ex and I had to make do, even if it meant looking after a drunken, argumentative blithering idiot, who couldn’t even spell when he was drunk and who called me his secretary because he couldn’t be bothered on learning how to work a laptop. When I didn’t progress in to int 2 childcare I moved on to a new course step in to learning and they helped me a lot, with building confidence and speaking about everything, including at the end of the course I finally moved in to my mums house due to her finally letting me. I didn’t have a job so I couldn’t exactly move out of mums ex until mum finally gave me an option and I took it. 

I went on to do creative industries and then health and social care and I know I shouldn’t feel jealous should I? It’s not like I passed and now going in to higher and got a job, wait….that is me. But I can’t be helped when I feel alone and single, when both and only two best friends are both in a relationship and I am still single. I have everything going for me at the moment, right? But I can’t help feel jealous of their relationship, does that make me a bad person? 

Do you have to be a professional writer to be a blogger?

Should blogging be for only those who are looking to be a author one day creating their own books or already have their own books? Should it be for people who are a journalist or is looking to be in the journalism career? Do you have to be really good at writing and have perfect grammar or spelling to be a blogger? There’s lots of ways you can keep memories recorded, diaries, nowadays facebook and Twitter. Now a days some people care about their statistics and how many have viewed their post, while others post just so they can look at it in years to come. Somewhere they can look to remember past experiences, like looking through a photo album and seeing life you once lived in the past. Personal blogs I personally think shouldn’t need to have the best grammar or even the best writing skills, as long as it’s personal then no one can tell you to go get educated and go and improve your writing skills. Or even to tell you that you suck and shouldn’t be blogging. 

I am not going by any writing that I have seen or whatnot, I am going by the way I sometimes think and can create fear to blog in case there’s someone out there that thinks I shouldn’t be doing it. I am not looking to be in the book writing or journalism career, I am just looking for somewhere I can just tell the world of my experiences and inner thoughts on certain subjects that somehow peak my interest. Why not speak these sort of thoughts or whatnot that I am doing here on facebook? Well I sometimes watch what I say when I have an account that has full of family and friends on, I would rather do some of these stuff somehow anonymous at which no one who knows me, knows I have this blog and can’t judge me for my life because they don’t know the type of person I am. Not every blog I think tells you who they are.

But to you readers, is it important if you have good writing skills to be a blogger or is it not that important? What’s your thoughts in the matter? 

Fresh Start

Sitting on the couch thinking how unlucky I am to stay somewhere where I don’t exactly have a bed, but only a couch and realising it’s my problem that I can fix, no one can fix it for me. I currently live with my mum and I have thought before:

I’m unemployable

I’m lazy

I’m no good

I’m stuck in this position and not going anywhere

But even with these thoughts I do have things to be positive about for example:

  • Getting in to college Early years and Childcare Int 1.
  • When I didn’t progress I went on to do Step in to Learning that made me realise what I really want to do.
  • Going in to creative industries to keep me building my confidence, it didn’t really but I found my creative side.
  • I then went on to do NC Health and Social Care at level 5 and passed it, including passing my project with an A.
  • Progressing on to NC Higher Health and Social Care.
  • Getting a job that can work around college as a carer.
  • Being in the Care Sector somewhere I have always wanted.

I have made achievements and I have had failures, but now I believe that there is failure before success, but that doesn’t mean you give up. It means you keep fighting and of course things change, once I wanted to be a nursery nurse which has now changed. I am aiming to be a support worker and then come back to college to learn about counselling when I have more experience behind me. 

Now I have to push myself out of my comfort zone, so that I can keep this job and be able to move on to progress in to HNC. As well as to move out and be independent, not having me have people telling me that “I can’t do it” or make everything a competition. 

As I see things, life isn’t always easy and the simple things are more complex. You can either let a set back hold you back or you can shrug your shoulders and move on to fight for greater opportunities…….